He cheated on me and I sensed it. I asked indirectly many times. He denied. Then she had the privileged of not only exposing the affair, but she knew it was a double whammy. Deception in more ways than just the affair. Had he had the respect to tell me while I was around her and she knew the secret, she would not have had more glory. And when the day came that she dropped the bomb, I would have loved to respond with, “He has already told me about the affair because he loved me enough to tell me the truth even though it hurts.” I am constantly reminded of the pain even though I have forgiven them because they have a child. She is constantly doing things to make me aware of her lingering presence in our lives. She gives pictures to my mother in law that is up all over her house so when I visit, I have to see her. It’s like being raped over and over. The family knows all that happened, but for the child’s sake, born out of wed lock, they allow her to play many games.

There is so much to this story but for all who read….they say, “the truth shall set you free.” However, I would say it depends on who the truth was told. I don’t feel free at all. I feel trapped and always feel there is more that has not been told and it won’t…not just because of how I react and his fears of what it may do, but because she gets satisfaction in leaving that wound open so she can bleed me out.

We have 2 children and it hurts that there is distance now because of distrust. Also, the X will not move on 3 years, 2 kids, and a marriage later. She thinks she is showing that she has this lasting love. I see it as a fatal attraction and very unhealthy. My husband has told her that he does not love her and the affair was a huge mistake. He wants her to move on and take her self out of the picture (literally) and make it about their son.

She has to make sure that she holds on to him somehow, someway and she uses her innocent child to do just that. She claims she just wants them to have a relationship, but she has to be there for visits, holidays, and on the phone during conversations. I just feel it is best we distance our selves until she grows up and truly focuses on just what her son desires. But she likes the game. She likes being all in our face to remind us. Any time we reach out to be a part of his life and travel to visit, we come home with more distance between us than what we just traveled.

The sad thing is, all of our children are paying the price for levels of maturity. Please know, I have always been willing to take the knife in the back for the sake of my stepson…but when is enough - enough?

I just want my husband to confront her about her behaviors and his family. I am his wife and he is to love me like Christ loved the church. The women in his family have said so many times, they would never tolerate this situation in their marriage, but they expect me to because they don’t want to leave the past in the past.

She told him she was taking birth control, but she lied to him and got pregnant so she could hold on. What is taken in vain does not prosper the way it would have if agreement on both parties was there.

I just feel its best that we shut our selves off until she is in a healthy relationship of her own, focusing on the new man in her life, not the one from the past that she tried to force in to a life with her. You can not over ride what is Gods plan. She even admitted to the fact that she was trying to get pregnant again when she seduced him with the affair. I was the one who got pregnant through 2 forms of birth control. I feel that spoke many things, but it as if no one see’s the truth, or maybe they don’t want to be set free of the bondage. Just thoughts.

The instructions / technique are an excellent way to help us guys understand the impact of our thoiughts and actions.