It’s Time To Blossom Like These Blooms
This is a continuation of my answer to Lana’s question from the April 30th post.
A Healthy Relationship Consists of Two Healthy People Who Each:
- Know who they are, are comfortable with themselves, and are happy with their own lives.
- Are clear about their own values and share those values in common with each other.
- Want the relationship, are willing to work through the issues, and put the relationship front and center of their lives.
Four Steps To Attract the Right One Into Your Life
Step 1 - Discover the Magnificent YOU!
Take some time to get to know who you are! Spend time everyday journaling about:
- The qualities that you value and appreciate about yourself
- Your values (what is most important to you)
- What you like and don’t like
- The way you want to live your life
The Adventure of Self-discovery!
I remember when I was going through this discovery process many, many years ago. I had spent my life focused on meeting the needs of everyone else. I realized I didn’t know who I was, what I wanted, or what would make me genuinely happy.
These are the kinds of questions I asked myself:
What really interests me?
What am I naturally attracted to?
What’s fun to me?
What causes do I really care about and want to support?
What do I believe about God and spiritually?
This self-discovery is the most important part of preparing for a healthy relationship. If you don’t know who you are and don’t understand what you value, how will you recognize the qualities and values when you meet a man to know if he is a candidate to be the right one?
Step 2 - BE YOURSELF!
Stop trying to be what you think everyone else wants you to be.
When you are genuinely being who you honestly are,
that will attract the right one!
Step 3 - Get a Life!
I mean this in the most positive way. It is a red flag to a healthy guy if a woman is dependent on him for everything. You need to bring your own life to the relationship.
Get a job, even a part-time job at Starbucks!
Join a friendly church with lots of activities
Join a singles club or two
If you like to read, join a book club
Find people in your community that are like minded
Political? Join a local campaign
Like theater? Volunteer to usher or work on the sets
Get involved in a local charity
Find a group or two that interests you and volunteer to work on a committee or be a greeter at their functions
Become a part of your local community
You won’t create the life that you dream of by staying home agonizing over this pretend relationship and whether he loves you or you have a future together.
Step 4 - Carpe Diem! Seize the Day!
At 49, you have a lot of life to live. Once you have completed these steps, you are ready to start dating again! Don’t worry about the reaction you get from the guy you are living with. Tell him you are taking his advice to “get a boyfriend!”
Now, attract a man Who Wants You, someone you love equally, who wants you to marry him, who has all the good qualities that you want to companion with for the rest of your life.
Lana, I hope this has helped. I’m sure it isn’t the answer that you were wanting, but it is the answer that I believe will bring you the most happiness and fulfillment!
If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving your comment especially if you have attracted the Right One for you.
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And you can email me your relationship questions at eva@relationshipfulfillmentfactor.com