Relationship Fulfillment Factor

Are You Unhappy With the Dynamics of Your Relationship?

   Does your man expect you to do things for him that you resent? To do more than your share?

   Does he do things that irritate you? Disappoint you? That leave you feeling sad?

   Does he say things that hurt? That make you feel guilty, ashamed,  blamed or wrong?

   Are you tired of  the way your relationship is set up?

The bad news: You set it up that way. (I can hear the howls already!)

The good news: You can change YOUR experience — but NOT him!

How Did YOU Set It Up?

Note: You must take responsibility for it or you won’t be able to change it. As long as you make him responsible, that leaves you a victim.

You can’t be a victim and 
influence the dynamics of your relationship

Back to How YOU Set It Up…

1. From the very first time that you met your man, you began to set the (mostly unspoken) rules of how things would run. If you feel that he set the terms, then you must realize that you accepted them if you went along with them.
2. Not knowing that you were setting the guidelines, you most likely did everything he asked of you and more, even if you really didn’t want to. At first it was fun and exciting! You wanted to “make him happy,” to please him, to make him want you to be the one.
3. When he asked you what you wanted, you deferred to him. After all, you didn’t want him to think that you were “high maintenance.” You didn’t let him know what you wanted. Or if you did, you likely only gave him hints and innuendos about what would make you happy.
4. When he did something or said something that you didn’t like or that bothered you, you brushed it off, justifying his poor behavior.  You gave him the green light to act as if your feelings and needs didn’t matter.
5. As he let you know what he wanted, and you didn’t let him know what you wanted, slowly you began to morph into the woman he “thought” he wanted, but he lost you in the process. YOU lost yourself. Not being authentically you, you are now playing a part in a relationship that isn’t working for you.

If you continue in the relationship as it is, you will either be:

    Angry which shows up as flares of temper or passive-aggressive behavior, especially in women who feel powerless.  

Or

    Depressed which shows up as a loss of interest in your life, not taking care of yourself, loss of energy, feelings of low self-worth, and constant self-criticism.

Watch for Part 2 of Are You Frustrated with Your Man? to find out how to repair the dynamics of your relationship so you can be true to yourself, get your needs met, and enjoy your man again.

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This entry was posted on Friday, May 29th, 2009 at 10:17 PM and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.